Fellow coach and friend, Greg Mutch said it best this week when describing coaching, "Yes, it is DEEP work. And sometimes that is surprising to the client. They think it's going to be solution focused consulting. But we don't coach the problem, we coach the person. And the WHOLE person."
Let me give you an example:
This week I was having lunch with a dear friend. She, like most of us has a script running in her head. It's usually a familiar struggle, a place we always get stuck. She ran the "lines" with me (as they say in theatre). As I listened to her I watched her face contort. It had been a while since she had actually spoken these words out loud. The pressure of ruminating without resolve demanded release. She stopped and I said, "How did those those words sound coming out of your mouth?" She didn't have to answer - her expression said it all.
When we accept the script, we have chosen to stay stuck.
A sign of acceptance is when we have isolated ourselves, running the same lines in our heads - our thoughts measured against themselves become true. When we invite others into the story, we are giving them permission to help us rewrite the script, to get unstuck.
1. Expose your SCRIPT for what it is - a lot of half truths written together creating a convincing and somewhat charming lie (perfect for the stage).
2. Invite another person over and read them the "lines" and ask them to be curious for you. Those lines would be the things that make; your face contort, your stomach ache, your head throb, your throat close, your eyes shift, etc.
3. Start to replace the lies with truths. One by one. Day by day. Moment by moment. If you're someone who believes in a higher power, this would be an opportune time to ask for help.
My friends, where I end and where you begin is how we gain momentum in this life. This is DEEP work and there isn't a good reason why anyone should do it alone. There is great POWER in partnerships.
Do you believe that?