Why Your Messaging Isn’t Working (And How Empathy Attracts Better Clients)
As a business coach, I see this all the time—businesses struggling with their messaging and wondering why they aren’t attracting the right clients. I know why …
Nashville, Tennessee is a place I frequent often. My brother and his family live there and it’s … well, WARMER than Michigan most of the year. I love being surrounded by the artsy vibe and people. A while back I had the privilege of going to the StoryBrand Conference with Donald Miller. He’s an author whose writing style I have always enjoyed. It’s simple, direct and entertaining. Over the years, he took that writing skill and turned it into an entire marketing system. Very impressive. Since that day, I’ve been a StoryBrand fan. Using the framework, I wrote radio commercials, website copy, print ads and classes. It helped me switch my marketing from talking about our expertise into talking about the needs each client has. It’s not just about their pain point, it’s about their desires.
If you’re not attracting the ideal clients then you have more than a messaging problem, you have an empathy problem. It’s been too long since you sat in their seat, walked in their shoes and needed someone … just like you!
Shea at the StoryBrand Conference in Nashville, Tennessee
That should be good news - you’re wanted!
The bad news is that your clients/customers can’t find you.
Here’s why: in your attempt to be humble (less aggressive or pushy) you’ve become too cute and too clever. Don’t get me wrong, you’re probably a hottie - but that’s not the point. They don’t need you to be clever, they need you to be CLEAR about how you solve their problem. If they could solve it, they would have already done it without you. But they can’t - you can.
How to Use Empathy to Improve Your Marketing and Messaging:
Ask Better, Open-Ended Questions.Your questions shouldn’t lead to a direct “yes” or “no” answer. Here’s an example: “Mrs. Jones, do you like your new Audi?” She will reply, “Oh, yes!” which really doesn’t tell you much. Instead ask, “Mrs. Jones, what’s your most favorite feature on the Audi?” or “Mrs. Jones, what did you like about your shopping experience with us?” A subtle shift will help you see things from their perspective.
Stop Talking and Start Listening. Most of us who are selling our own business or ideas feel responsible for dead air. If you’re not in radio or tv, dead air is okay. It gives people an opportunity to respond to you. Ask questions and listen. Or, if you’re in a group setting, pay attention to what people are talking about. Observe their current realities and the dynamics between them. You’ll begin to pick up on themes, ideas and belief systems that matter to your messaging.
Document What Your Clients Actually Say. Most of the time, people will confess without realizing it. They will tell you what they like and don’t like almost without you asking. If you’ve learned to pause and listen to them - you’ll be able to write down exactly how something lands with them. For example, I heard a client say, “Ew! I would never buy a used couch. That’s like buying underwear from a thrift store.” What she was telling me is that she expects high quality products and cleanliness. I wrote that down.
Stop Assuming You Know What They Want. In coaching, I tell people that it’s no fun when we anticipate and try to be a “know-it-all”. It’s a lot more fun when we are open to the element of surprise. When we suspend our judgement and stop guessing the answer, we can stop assuming we know what people want. Let them tell you or …
Improve the Quality of Your Questions. If you’re getting vague answers it means you’re asking vague questions. Give your questions an update! Take the time to update the quality of your questions. You’ve got ChatGPT to help you with that now - so, USE IT!
Empathy sells in the most indirect and subtle ways which is why most people skip over it. They assume that practicing empathy is going to bring them down, lower their vibe and they will be forced into a trauma story. Leave that for the therapists. Empathy in business is the internal shift from bragging about how you’re the absolute best to understanding your client/customer enough to shift your messaging to serve them instead of you. When your messaging is rooted in empathy and clarity, attracting the right clients becomes a whole lot easier.
This is the kind of work I do with clients who need it. You can read more about that on my home page. Or check out my client Benjamin Twiggs who recently did a brand refresh with a new website!
Try it and report back to headquarters aka: ME! (I’m based in Northern Michigan but have client across the country.)
