Marianne Williamson, author and advocate penned this phrase, “You don’t have to worry unless you want to.” For someone like me - who worries like it’s a “sport” (the only kind I can win), I took great offense to this concept because worrying is how I took care of myself and others. If I could look ahead and project the worse case scenario then I could do one of two things:
Prevent it from happening.
Be prepared if it did.
Guess what?
The worst case scenarios that have come true are nothing I could have prepared myself for. Ever.
Guess what else? The same is true for you. Do you want to know what the real fear is? The fear is not in the unknown, the fear is that we don’t trust ourselves to handle that worst case scenario day or days after. We don’t believe that we could handle it and instead, it would handle us. We would lose control.
The fantasy that fuels constant worry is that we have control. It’s mind-porn that tricks us into believing we have control over what comes our way. What we fail to see is the other players make plays that don’t serve the good of everyone. We believe that nature will cooperate and so will a virus. Our best efforts don’t result in the imagined outcome and yet, we replay the script hoping for a better result.
This past week I have heard more than one person say, “I’m so tired of being scared.” And what I think they might be saying is, “I’m so tired of worrying and my worry isn’t changing the outcome. If my worry isn’t changing the outcome, then what should I do?” Can I coach you to try something new?
When the worry rerun begins to play, change channels. Switch over to the one that says, “I trust myself to know what to do should the worst thing happen. And if I don’t know what to do immediately, I trust that it will come to me. The Universe (God - whatever you see as a higher power) will show me the way. I choose trust.” And then do the next thing which is to imagine EVERYTHING GOING RIGHT! Did you hear me? Imagine everything going better than you imagine it. My friend David and his wife say to themselves, “If we had it our way … “ and finish the sentence leaning into their wildest dreams and it all working out. I was overjoyed to hear that their wildest dream came true. In fact, they were given MUCH MORE than what they asked for. Their dreams were too small. Set back after set back didn’t set them back. They simply didn’t give up. Because what the Universe can’t do for you is put in the effort.
You cannot give up.
No matter what you face, you cannot give up.
The winners aren’t smarter, they are obnoxiously persistent.
So yeah, you can worry if you want to. Why not choose to trust and take action instead? We need to preserve every ounce of energy possible these days.
xoxo, shea