I hear clients say, “I want more balance.” As I push harder for what their definition of what balance means, I hear words like: time management, boundaries, availability, money, marriage, kids and help. It’s all too much and they are getting pulled in too many directions. Ultimately, they can’t give one thing up to serve the other. However, the way in which they perceive their reality and live within it can change. The next question is this, “Can I have it all?”
My answer is this, “You can have it all, but not all at once.”
Which is why I think the ‘work-life’ balance is a myth. The unicorn of past realities. Our modern lives require something else of us.
It might help if we use the word, “tension” instead. According to Google, tension is a force. Tension can be used to accelerate - that is, to move an object. It can also be used to keep an object from moving. It’s the science of energy and physics that applies to our everyday life.
Often times I use the analogy of a bridge. A bridge is a shortcut from one side to the other. It bypasses the dangerous valley below us. We could go down into the valley and walk or boat to the other side or we could choose to the take the bridge. In which case, we need tension for it to be safe. And, in order for a bridge to exist, there must be two sides. The one side we are on and the side we want to get to.
My question to you is this: what will you need to cross over?
A clear vision of what’s on the other side?
Confidence to take the first step?
The right equipment?
A companion?
Maybe all of the above! When we make a decision to traverse the tension between two realities we are admitting they exist and one is not better than the other. Our greatest perspective is when we get to the middle of that bridge and can clearly identify what each side brings. This type of clarity can be very terrifying, especially if you’re afraid of heights. Some of you might need to build the bridge you’ll need to cross. This is creative bravery!
In order to live in the tension of more than one reality, it’s helpful to acknowledge the elements:
Modern technology and our inability to truly disconnect. We are now, almost ‘constantly available' to our work, relationships and world.
Inadequate nutrients in our foods and how they are sourced. This has led to both physical and mental health issues that exceed medical professionals training. We are getting sicker faster and that research and training can keep pace with!
Information overload! There are few boundaries with how much information we are taking in via advertising, TV, radio, social media and the internet. Scientists have measured the amount of data that enter the brain and found that an average person living today processes as much as 74 GB in information a day (that is as much as watching 16 movies), through TV, computers, cell phones, tablets, billboards, and many other gadgets. Read more here.
These are the elements we have very little control over. Instead, we must measure our intake to manage the overwhelm. Here are five steps to “cross over” and “live in the tension.”
Prioritize self-care and set boundaries to protect personal time.
Practice mindfulness and be present in the moment, whether at work or at home.
Foster meaningful connections with colleagues, friends, and family members.
Pursue hobbies and interests outside of work to maintain a sense of balance.
Embrace flexibility and adjust expectations to accommodate life's fluctuations.
At the very least, manifest a unicorn and fly above it all.
xoxo,
Shea